Faint Efficiencies

A Poem by Taylor Bush

Desire it lurches,
thick blackness overcomes.
it is now
it is never.

strike,
strike,
strike.

the body
deficient for its purpose.

it. is. pain.

primal, biological, faint efficiencies
why did it fail?

strike,
strike,
strike.

Her mind, it is poison
Overcome with doubt.
the ache becomes shame,
heavy and putrid.
coiled deep in her soul,
awaiting her prey.

strike,
strike,
strike.

Primal she thirsts,
primal she strikes,
primal she hungers,
for those long sleepless nights.

primal she aches,
primal she doubts,
primal —in pain
for her love knows no bounds.

A mother who longs,
is a mother tamed.

she is a viper.

strike,
strike,
strike,

sitting in wait.

---

A late night reflecting on my losses inspired this poem. It has been five years since my last loss, I sit here- knowing we will be trying again soon. I recall the pain of the hormonal and primal desires during and after the pregnancy that failed at 17 weeks.

My hope is this poem speaks to those in a similar position. You are not alone.

-Taylor